The Fiver | Telling us nothing good about the direction of humanity in general

In today’s Fiver: Patrice Evra, the Global Nations League and a crisis machine

On the face of it there is nothing funny about a man getting kicked in the head. On the face of it is also, by chance, where Patrice Evra appeared to kick his victim before Thursday’s Big Vase match between Vitória and Marseille in Guimarães. Happily, however, the kickee was not seriously harmed. But this is a confusing story, in that it is inherently deeply troubling and disappointing, telling us nothing good about the fan involved, the player involved, the state of football or the direction of humanity in general, yet it also involved a player being sent off before a game, which is inherently hilarious. It is the footballing equivalent of a Frankie Boyle stand-up routine, in that while shedding tears of laughter you realise you should probably instead be weeping about the twisted thought processes that led to it happening in the first place.

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