London – Tottenham and England full-back Danny Rose used a psychologist during his long injury lay-off as he battled jealously and anger on the road back to fitness
A knee complaint that looked set to keep the 27-year-old out for weeks instead sidelined him for eight tortuous months, seeing him go under the knife in May.
"I have been impressed, jealous, angry — I have been through a whole load of emotions," he told BBC radio. "I've just been itching to get going for the past couple of weeks and I'm just grateful that I'm back in amongst it now.
"I have started seeing a psychologist to try and help me think positive. I have started reading books now to try and keep me positive as well.
"This injury has been one of the most difficult periods of my life but you have got to try and think of positives in any situation."
Rose returned to action last month against Real Madrid for his first game since suggesting in August he would be open to leaving the north London club and questioning transfer policy, with manager Mauricio Pochettino confirming he had a long-term future at the club.
The defender said he felt "untouchable" last season but the injury had brought him sharply back down to earth and he had struggled to motivate himself to get fit.
"Seeing us, seeing Tottenham, play against Dortmund at Wembley and seeing them win, and having the whole Madrid trip to look forward to, it brought my appetite and hunger back for football," he added.
England boss Gareth Southgate named Rose in the squad for upcoming friendlies against Germany and Brazil and the Spurs player is still dreaming about the World Cup in Russia next year even though he knows he must make up for lost time.
"I can't cry about it, I just have to use the time that I've been given now to try and force my way back into his plans," he said.